therepublicofletters:

Things heard in a conservation lab this afternoon:

• “DON‘T GET BLOOD ON THE ART”
• “Well you see, the reason we have this is because murder”
• “STOP POINTING THAT AT ME”
• “King Henry VIII’s armor fits me best, but his thighs are strangely skinny”
• *hits an antique gun several times with a hammer*
• “You see, I brought this here in several pieces over many weeks so I wouldn’t be brought to jail if someone caught me with a full 19th century rifle on the subway”
• “If someone points this one at you, run”
• “I would’ve brought the swords out but I was worried you might cut each other’s limbs off”
• “I SAID DON’T GET BLOOD ON THE ART”